Today is a hard day for me. Absolutely no reason why it should be different from any other, but I do take comfort knowing that these days are typically followed by one less painful.
Here's the main thing: I don't feel like doing anything. Not even the things I really enjoy doing. I find myself sitting in my rocking chair, daydreaming, aching, staring. One of my favorite pastimes is doing "school work" with my kids - showing them things, reading them books, explaining things to them, helping them. On my "bad" days, however, I can't get started. It's good that there are fun & interesting things all over our home for them, so they are always busy.
I keep praying and trusting, but I feel nothing. I don't know what to say to my husband. Do I hide all of this? Do I try to act 'normal'? If I tell him how I feel, will he think that I don't like my life? Because I love it so very much. I'm just going through this time of trial, waiting for it to end.
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